Bag hasn’t posted much the last couple of months because most of his time was spent at summer camp for gambling degenerates - also known as the World Series of Poker (WSOP) in Las Vegas, NV. He showed up 90 minutes early to his first WSOP event this year, only to find a couple of guys chatting in the parking garage with whom he ran deep in an event last year. When you go deep in a tourney, spending 12-15 hours straight sitting next to someone is not uncommon. With many of those hours being downtime between hands, there is plenty of time to get to know the people around you. It allows for conversations that can be nuanced and, at times, heated. It’s not like a cocktail party, where someone voices an opinion you don’t like - and you can mingle elsewhere. In poker tournaments, for better or worse, you are trapped. But these two guys, they are a couple of the better ones.
“Hey, we are about to go out and grab a bite before the tourney starts, wanna go?” Sure, let’s do it.
The three of us enjoyed a nice lunch & caught up on each other’s poker exploits over the past year. When the bill came due, we did what poker players usually do…. we played credit card roulette. We each put a credit card face down on the table in a row next to the check. When the waiter returns, we tell him to randomly select a card. If he picks your card, you just bought lunch for three - and if he picks someone else’s card, well, who says there is no such thing as a free lunch?
Bag’s first tournament this year was the WSOP “mystery bounty.” Over 18,000 participants spent a thousand dollars each for entry into this multi-day tournament, which yielded a prize pool north of 15 million. Bag’s table draw was interesting, to say the least. On his right was Nora from Jersey, a 70+ year old Biker chick who spent her break-time towing around an Oxygen tank, and chain-smoking Pall-Malls. On Bag’s left was Ray, a 50+ year-old quick-tempered New Yorker with a manner that was abrasive in a way that only a New Yorker could be.
On Nora’s right was Will, whom Bag had played with in a tourney years ago. Will was an anarchist if ever there was one. He lived off-grid just outside Kingman, where he had a Rattlesnake farm. On the other side of Will was Seth, the millennial, complete with painted fingernails, body jewelry, and blue spiked hair. What a group we had on just our half of the table …. Seth the millennial, Will the Anarchist, Ray the New York Liberal, Bag the Libertarian, and Nora the biker.
The first hand hadn’t been dealt yet, and New York Ray and Jersey Nora were already going at it. Evidently, Ray was toking on a vape pen inside the poker room— which is not allowed. Nora pointed out how she has to go outside when she wants to smoke, and it’s only fair Ray does the same. It was immediately apparent that Ray had a contempt for social norms, and did not like being told what to do.
The first big hand of the day involved Seth & Will. Seth opened (made the first bet) to 2200. Strange. Most people open pots to nice round numbers like 1000, 2000, or maybe 1500 or 2500. So 2200 was a bit unusual, but Seth is a millennial, and they do things differently. As it turned out, Will had Ace-King on a King-ten-deuce-ace-four board, for top two pair, but lost to Seth, who held deuce-deuce for three of a kind. So, opening to 22 hundred on deuce-deuce, how cute.
Ray was clearly the amateur at the table. He didn’t know about the smoking rule, and he was telegraphing his intentions. When he looked at his hole cards, if he didn’t like what he saw, he would continue running his mouth and telling everyone what they were doing wrong; all the while keeping the cards in his hand - so he could quickly fold when it was his turn. When he liked what he saw, he was silent, pulling the cards towards his stack, and placing some chips on top of his cards - as though he was discretely securing a valuable treasure.
Nora & Ray have shifted their topic of discussion to the surveillance state. Ray, of course, believes the world would be a better place, if only we had more government surveillance cameras everywhere. At this point, even Seth and Will joined Nora in verbally beating on Ray. Bag could have opened up his mouth and helped. But there was no need ….lol… the three of them were doing just fine. Ray was becoming visibly agitated; his hands were trembling. He finally proclaimed in a brash manner, while waving his finger at the three of them: “Look, if you are not engaged in criminal activity, what do you care if there are cameras around? If you have nothing to hide, there is no need for privacy - EVER”.
At that moment, Nora raised pre-flop to 3000. It folded to Ray, who loudly declared: “I’m All in.” It was another 27,000 for Nora to call. She said, “My pocket 8’s must not be good,” and folded them. Ray stood up, puffed out his chest, and slammed his hole cards face up on the table, showing a bluff with 3-7, all the while acting like he had just conquered Rome. No wonder people are leaving New York in droves.
The very next hand was the last one before break time. Seth opened to 44 hundred — another odd-sized bet. Bag looks down at an eight and a nine. Normally, Bag would fold here - but in poker, if you know what your opponent is holding, your cards don’t matter. Bag has a theory Seth is highly likely to be holding 4-4. So Bag pays to see the flop, which comes 3-5-6. Seth announces, “Same Bet.” Bag tosses in another 4400. The next card (called the “turn” card) is another 3. We both check (opt not to bet). The last card (called the river card) is a beautiful 7. That’s Gin. If Bag is right about Seth holding 4-4, he will want to shovel money into the pot - as he has made a straight. Right on cue, Seth bets big. Bag shoves all in, Seth calls and shows 44, losing to Bag’s bigger straight. Bag was able to double his chip stack by exploiting a millennial as he headed off to break.
One of the problems with poker tournaments with large fields is that we all go on break simultaneously. There were easily a hundred guys waiting in line for their turn to use one of the eight urinals. Will was smart. He opted not to play the last hand, and headed to break two minutes early, beating the crowd. By the time Bag got there, the line was out the door. Bag assumed his spot in line directly behind Ray. So even on break, Bag had to listen to Ray bitch about Nora & Will. Seth, on the other hand, comes strolling up, takes one look at the line, and promptly walks into the women’s restroom, where there was no line. WTF?
Bag returns to his seat just as the clock counts down the last few seconds of break. They announce “cards in the air,” and the dealer begins dealing. There is a very clear rule which states if you are not in your seat as the last card comes off the deck - then your hand is dead. Some guy at the other end of the table didn’t understand this, as he was about ten feet away when the last card came off. So as the dealer was reaching to take his cards, he was protesting. The dealer had to call a floor man over to explain this to the guy. All of this took about a minute.
In the meantime, Bag looked down at his hole cards, and saw pocket aces. Yeah, Baby! It’s showtime! Not only that, But Ray was pulling his cards in and putting chips on top - he was clearly interested. While the floor man explained the rules to the guy at the other end of the table, Bag decided it was a perfect time to needle Ray. Getting opponents to react emotionally rather than think rationally is a big advantage at the table, so with that in mind -
Bag says: “You know Ray, I couldn’t help but notice when we were in line to use the bathroom, and it was your turn - you went into a stall, and the first thing you did was close the door for privacy, what gives?”
Ray says: “That’s DIFFERENT.”
Bag Says: “Ray, you said only criminals need privacy - so tell us, Ray, what kind of criminal activity was going on in there?”
Nora jumps in: “Yeah, Ray - what are you hiding?”
Ray says: “I MEANT IN PUBLIC PLACES, AND YOU KNOW IT”
By now, the problem at the other end of the table was resolved, and it was Bag’s turn to act.
“Raise to 4000” ….. Ray immediately announced an all-in for 33,000. Bag quickly called. Ray showed a King & a Queen. The board ran out with no help for Ray, and he was eliminated. Good riddance. As Ray collected his belongings, Nora said, “I am certain those are PUBLIC restrooms.”
Ray said: “Fuck Off,” as he stormed out …..
Will joked: “If anyone needs any dry cleaning done, a lot of steam is coming off Ray right now.”
As it turned out, Bag spent 12 hours at that table. Will, Seth, and Nora were long gone when Bag was dealt pocket Kings. All the money went in, his opponent turned over pocket Jacks - and proceeded to spike a third Jack on the flop. Bag could not find a third King on the turn or river, and was eliminated just short of a payday. It was not the ending we were looking for, but Bag was happy to have gotten his chips in as a favorite regardless of the result. That is all that matters in poker. Show me a player who consistently gets the money in as a favorite, and Bag will show you a long-term winner.
Bag would like to tell you the life of a poker player brings with it a “Rockstar” like glamour complete with 6 figure scores, but that isn’t the case. Most poker players, even many pros, are consumed by self doubt; always wondering if things would have been better if they had played this hand, or that hand a little differently. After decades on the felt, Bag has learned to quickly let go of the past and all the could-haves and should-haves that come with it. They will kill you if you let them. All that matters is where you are (the present), and where you are going (the future) — just like in life.
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For those interested in how Bag could be happy about losing with his Kings Vs. Jacks after a 14-hour session, we recommend this article Bag wrote years ago. It has nothing to do with poker and everything to do with a proper mindset and mitigating risk. It even comes with an anecdote at the end that will allow you to go through the rest of your life without ever losing a coin flip.
Excellent stories and strategy! We can alway say what if, but if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, oh what a Christmas we'd have! I remember you said something once about "if your aunt..." something or other. lol Here are some great "if" poems from I think the 1800s, "If down the starry skies should fall, The starlings would be cheap, If Belles talked reason at a ball, The band might go to sleep." It's an online book link, a whole chapter of "if's." I have too much time on my hands! https://books.google.it/books?id=EpkeAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA407&dq=%22ifs%20and%20ands%22&hl=en&sa=X&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=%22ifs%20and%20ands%22&f=false